


medicine

by orphan_account



Series: help me breathe [3]
Category: Topp Dogg (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gangs, I HAVE SUCH A HUGE BACKLOG OF THESE FICS, M/M, descriptions of gore and violence and! also! a Fuck, i just forget to post them here im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2015-10-13
Packaged: 2018-04-26 03:36:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4988716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jiho is stressed nowadays.</p>
            </blockquote>





	medicine

**Author's Note:**

> HEY YALL!!!!!!!!!  
> if you guys are too impatient to wait for my slow ass to post all these fics over to ao3, you can read the whole damn thing right [HERE!!](http://vampirehansol.tumblr.com/tagged/help-me-breathe)  
> if you are patient enough, then i promise. it gets a lot better. it will get better in about three fics and things will start moving smoother. i wrote these like first five fics about 7 months ago now and i've gotten SO much better since then it's so embarrassing honestly lmao  
> BUT ANYWAY YEAH HEY THIS IS HERE!!!!!!!! i hope you enjoy!! kudos + comments are appreciated!!

Jiho feels the need to ask permission, but when he asks, Sangdo just tells him that how he spends his free time is none of his business. The problem is that Jiho has no idea how to go about it, so he ends up standing awkwardly in the front room of a brothel being eyed by an equally awkward hostess. **  
**

“Um, do you… do you have any preferences, sir?” She asks gently, as if to ease him along, and Jiho inhales shakily.

“I- I like, I like boys.”  _Okay, that was weird to say. Fuck._

The hostess nods, smiling, and turns to the back room, motioning for Jiho to follow her. As they walk through, she turns her head slightly to talk to Jiho over her shoulder, and asks, “You’ve never done this before, have you?”

Jiho shakes his head, wiping his sweaty palms on his pants. “N-No, I haven’t, I- I usually don’t worry about, about sex, but I’ve been very- very stressed.”

The hostess makes a noise of understanding, returning her attention to where she’s walking. The hallway they’re in opens up into a big room, dimly lit and filled with sweet smelling smoke, couches arranged perfectly with people of all sizes and sorts lounging on them, most smiling at Jiho kindly.

“Don’t worry,” the hostess says when she sees Jiho’s gaze nervously moving around the room, “I know just the one for you.”

Jiho nods, letting her guide him down another hallway to his left and into a nicely furnished room, something like a lavish hotel that reminded him of his days traveling with his father. The hostess tells him that, first, the room is soundproof, and second, that she’ll be back soon with his escort.

Jiho sits on the bed, nervous beyond all belief, and drags his hands down his face. It was stupid doing this, why did he even get the idea, ugh-

He looks up when the door shuts and closes and sees the most beautiful man- the most beautiful person he’s ever laid eyes on. He can’t help but gawk for a bit and the man situates his scanty silks so they fan over his skin better.

Jiho swallows thickly, wringing his hands as he makes himself look at the man’s face. “I- oh god, hello, um, how are you today?”

He laughs, coming to stand in front of Jiho and gently touching the side of his face. “I’m pretty good, you look like you’re absolutely made of money.”

Jiho just nods, reaching but letting his hand hover over the man’s tan skin. “W-What’s your name?”

“My name?” He repeats, almost astonished, and Jiho nods. “It’s Hojoon. What’s yours?”

“Jiho, can I touch you?”

Hojoon scoffs, shifting so his thigh brushes against Jiho’s hand. “Do whatever you want to, it’s not like I particularly care.”

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, though…” Jiho says, pouting slightly, and Hojoon laughs and leans in.

“You’re sweet, darling. I like you already.” He whispers, breath ghosting over Jiho’s face, and Jiho bites his lip anxiously.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Don’t ask, it’ll get annoying.”

Jiho nods and presses his lips to Hojoon’s, who immediately deepens the kiss and pushes his way into Jiho’s lap. Ah, yes, Jiho forgot why he was here for a few moments, but he feels how flushed Hojoon’s cheeks are from their close proximity and he notices that Hojoon tastes like bubblegum- it’s cute.

Jiho scoots up the bed and takes Hojoon with him, laying back and twisting so Hojoon is beneath him, not breaking lip contact the entire way. He bites at Hojoon’s lips gently, then breaks away and buries his face in Hojoon’s neck. He knows Hojoon told him not to ask, but- “Can I bite you?”

“Everyone else does,” Hojoon breathes out, turning his head to the side to give Jiho more room, and Jiho sighs.

“Do you like it, though?”

“I’d like it from you, yeah.”

Just sweet talk, most likely, but it still makes Jiho feel special. Probably the intended effect. Jiho nips at Hojoon’s neck at first, each in a different spot before he finds the one place that makes Hojoon tense slightly, where he bites harder. Hojoon gasps, moving to wrap his legs around Jiho’s waist, and Jiho pulls away to look at Hojoon.

“You’re so pretty,” Jiho says, lifting a hand to pet at Hojoon’s rich brown hair, gently swiping a thumb under one of his eyes and glancing at the makeup that comes away, a mix of pink blush and dark eyeliner.

“Don’t fall in love just yet,” Hojoon purrs, grinning as he leans up to kiss Jiho again. Jiho slides a hand along Hojoon’s thigh, pulling away once he feels smooth silk beneath his fingers. They’re panties, of course, a light mint color with a white bow on the front, and Jiho smiles and carefully slips them off so he doesn’t ruin them. There are dark, ugly bruises and deep crescent-shaped cuts on Hojoon’s inner thighs and Jiho frowns, dipping down to kiss gently at them, Hojoon reaching down to run his fingers through Jiho’s hair.

“Kind to an escort, that gets you in deep,” Hojoon says absently, brushing Jiho’s fringe away from his face, and Jiho looks up at him. Hojoon smiles at him, motioning for Jiho to come up to face level again, which he does, and Hojoon kisses him sweetly. “Not something you see a lot in first timers,” he whispers against Jiho’s lips, and Jiho nods in acknowledgement and kisses him again, reaching down to unzip and wiggle out of his pants and underwear, all while working his mouth against Hojoon’s. He rolls his hips against Hojoon’s and Hojoon shudders, wrapping his arms around Jiho’s shoulders and pushing up against Jiho, grinding against him and gasping into his mouth. Jiho pulls back and spies what he wants, a bottle of lube, and he laughs because it’s so ridiculously huge.

Hojoon looks in the direction Jiho is reaching and laughs too. “Yeah, yeah, it’s stupidly big isn’t it? Feels kind of dumb.”

Jiho nods, still smiling as he pumps some of the lube onto his hand and wiggles his fingers around to slick them. “This is alright, right?” He asks, looking to Hojoon, and Hojoon nods.

“Go for it, I trust you.”

Something about that makes Jiho’s chest feel very warm and he gently pushes one of Hojoon’s legs to the side, reaching between his legs and pushing a finger inside him, swallowing up the following moan with a kiss.

Hojoon shifts a bit so he can push his hips against Jiho’s hand, whining in the back of his throat, and Jiho pulls away and opens his eyes to look at Hojoon’s face as he moves his finger slowly, adding a second one shortly after so he can see Hojoon’s expression twist as he fucks him with his fingers.

It’s weird, Jiho thinks to himself, that his first time getting laid in so long is with an escort that he’s paying by the hour. But, he doesn’t mind, because it’s not like he’s going to bang anyone in his sect (his only option is Sanggyun, and no, god no), and this doesn’t feel dark and sleazy like he thought it would.

Jiho noses along Hojoon’s neck, kissing at the faint bite mark he made earlier and tipping his head to whisper into Hojoon’s ear. “Is this good?”

Hojoon whines, nodding, and Jiho kisses him briefly, not letting up just yet. Hojoon tilts his hips, seeking friction, and when Jiho glances down he sees that there’s precum dripping onto Hojoon’s silky robe. Jiho bites his lip, thinking for a moment, before he pulls his hands away from Hojoon and grabs his hips instead. He rolls onto his back, Hojoon laying on top of him, and nuzzles Hojoon’s face softly. “Ride me, if you want,” he whispers, and Hojoon inhales, nodding. As he sits up and scoots back, Jiho undoes the tie on his robe and reaches up to slip it off of Hojoon’s shoulders, pausing to shoot Hojoon a look that asks, ‘okay?’

Hojoon nods and Jiho pushes the robe away, smiling and running his fingers along the smooth skin. “Pretty,” he breathes, trailing his fingers down to Hojoon’s hands and intertwining their fingers.

Hojoon squeezes his hands and smiles back at him, then frees his hands so he can unbutton Jiho’s shirt, pushing the material aside as much as possible once he has. His eyes linger on scars scattered across Jiho’s torso and he runs his fingers along one, a thick one that spreads across Jiho’s side. “Pretty,” he says, rubbing his thumb against another one before grabbing Jiho’s hands again and scooting back, pausing to lean over and pump some lube into his hand, reaching behind him and stopping to work the no-doubt-cold lube around in his hand before wrapping his fingers around Jiho’s aching dick, Jiho jerking slightly and making a soft noise.

“Is there any way you want me to do this?” Hojoon asks, voice husky, and Jiho rubs his thumb across the knuckles of the hand he’s still holding.

“Anyway you like it.”

Hojoon nods, pulling his hands away and making a face at the lube still clinging to his hand, reaching over and wiping it all over a corner of the sheet. Jiho kisses at a scar on Hojoon’s shoulder while he’s leaned over and Hojoon moves to kiss Jiho, gentle but full of desire.

_God help me._

Hojoon sits back up and uses his hands to steady himself, laying them on Jiho’s stomach as he lifts up, taking a breath before sinking down on Jiho’s cock, exhaling shakily as he lowers himself slowly. Jiho reaches up to push Hojoon’s hair out of his face, wiping at sweat gathering on his forehead, and Hojoon turns his head to kiss Jiho’s hand before rocking his hips, moan muffled by Jiho’s skin. Jiho drops his hand to rest on Hojoon’s hip, following his motions as he starts up a steady pace that causes the both of them to moan and shake, Hojoon’s thighs shuddering with the exertion of supporting him.

Jiho first pulls Hojoon down to catch his lips, kissing him hard, their lips parting so their teeth clink together; then he grabs Hojoon’s hips and flips them over, Hojoon gasping in surprise and then making some sort of choked noise as Jiho begins slamming into him, pressing gentle kisses along Hojoon’s shoulders to contrast.

Jiho’s barely reached between them to jerk Hojoon off when Hojoon cums with a cry that chokes off into a sob, Hojoon whining when Jiho slows down.

“Don’t- god, don’t worry about me,” Hojoon says into Jiho’s hair, seeming to be struggling for words. “Cum inside me, please.”

Jiho presses open-mouthed kisses up Hojoon’s neck and cums with his moans muffled against Hojoon’s sweaty skin, nuzzling his face into Hojoon’s neck as he rides out his orgasm, Hojoon moving to wrap his arms around Jiho’s shoulders loosely.

Jiho sighs, content, and pulls away from Hojoon slowly, flopping onto the bed beside him and pulling him close. “Can I just sleep here with you, will they yell at me for that?”

Hojoon settles into Jiho’s grasp, pausing to think for a moment. “Uhh, no? But I guess you have to pay for every hour we’re asleep, until you leave at least…”

“I’ve got the money, I promise.”

 

“God, where have you been?” Hyosang asks, squinting, then he grins and pinches Jiho’s cheeks. “You’ve got the glow, you got yourself laid!”

Jiho laughs, swatting Hyosang’s hands away. “Yeah, for a price.”

“Holy shit, you hired a hooker?”

“ _Not_ a hooker,” Jiho corrects, “an escort. There’s a difference- paid by the hour, and a hell of a lot nicer.”

Hyosang whistles, shoving Jiho slightly. “Damn, you did good then. How much did you blow on them?”

“Uh, a lot, because I stayed the night.” Jiho feels a little ashamed, suddenly, because it’s probably stupid to get attached at first sight, but Hyosang just laughs.

“Cute, that’s cute. Well, come on, we have breakfast in here. Sanggyun slaved all morning over the stove and still managed to burn an egg so bad that we had to throw out a skillet.”

“Oh dear.”

 

The hostess doesn’t seem that surprised to see Jiho two days after his first visit and she asks kindly if he wants Hojoon again, to which he says yes, of course, and then he asks: “Am I allowed to take him on a date?”

She isn’t fazed, just nods. “Of course. But he’s in high demand, so we might have to make you pay a baseline fee- usually date costs are decided by the escort themselves.”

“That’s fine, I just- I want to take him somewhere nice.” Jiho says awkwardly, and she smiles.

“That’s cute, very cute. You know,” she shifts a bit, heels clicking on the tile of the lobby floor, “he wouldn’t stop talking about how kind you were. You sound very sweet, Mr. Shin, and he doesn’t get many truly kind people.”

Jiho smiles sheepishly, embarrassed at the praise. “Thank you, I didn’t see any point to being mean to him, I mean- he’s getting a weird loner like me laid, I can’t be mean to him.”

The hostess laughs, bowing slightly to dismiss herself before walking to the back room. Within a few minutes, Jiho has Hojoon in his arms, and he feels like he hasn’t seen him in a century.

“You look nice,” Jiho says, appraising Hojoon’s white button up and slacks. He laughs once he sees the old, dirty sneakers Hojoon’s wearing, taking him by the hand and leading him out of the building. “Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Oh, shut up, I don’t go on dates much.” Hojoon punches at Jiho’s leg slightly, grinning. “It’s not my fault you’re so sharp all the time, I’ve got a lot to live up to.” He runs his thumb over Jiho’s knuckles, pulling his hand away when Jiho flinches and examining his hand. Jiho’s knuckles are bloody as a result of a job that he’d done the previous day, where an informant started a little trouble and thought he was going to get the best of Jiho, which he didn’t. “What do you even do? Your knuckles are all raw, and there’s this cut on your face… or can you not tell me, is it a secret?”

“Nah, I- surely you’ve heard of the sects, right?”

Hojoon’s gasp is positively astonished, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. “You’re part of a sect? Which one?”

“Yu Sangdo’s!” Jiho says proudly, and Hojoon laughs, giddy.

“That’s so cool, oh my god! Doesn’t that mean you’d be able to get anyone you wanted, though, why did you have to hire someone?”

Jiho shakes his head, making a face. “The only person in my sect that isn’t taken is Sanggyun, and _I’d_  have to be paid before I slept with him. And we don’t have a lot of friends that interest me, I don’t- I don’t like girls as much.”

Hojoon nods sagely, starting to walk again, letting Jiho lead him along the sidewalk. “I get it, yeah. Am I allowed to ask questions?”

“Yeah, if you’re not scared of the answers.”

Hojoon thinks for a moment, gently clasping his hands around one of Jiho’s. “How did this happen?”

“We had this informant who got a little too cocky, so I had to bring him down a couple notches. It’s just a side effect, I guess.” Jiho shrugs, looking down at his free hand, at the thick scabs over his knuckles. “It’s not that bad, there’s been worse.”

“That big scar on your side, how did that happen?” Hojoon asks, eyes bright when Jiho glances over at him.

“I was stabbed, kind of hacked open. Nothing was taken though, praise God, I’m all intact.”

Hojoon laughs, walking a little closer to Jiho and asking more random questions (mostly about all the scars he saw) until they ended up at Jiho’s favorite restaurant- a local diner, whose owner he was fairly good friends with.

Hojoon ends up fawning over the hamburger he ordered for the majority of the date (and it really feels like one, too) and fawning over Jiho for the rest of it, going on about how cool and awesome he is.

Jiho stretches his arms out, laying his upper half on the table, and Hojoon does the same after pushing his plate out of the way, his forehead bumping against Jiho’s. “Can I visit you?” Jiho asks, and Hojoon nods.

“I guess, I mean, they’ve never told us not to have visitors. Some of the other ones have friends that visit every day, my friends don’t care.” Hojoon kisses the tip of Jiho’s nose, smiling wide. “You’re my friend now, though, so it’s alright. You can visit me lots, there’s no rules about it, you don’t even have to pay.”

Jiho laughs, tilting his chin up so he can press his lips to Hojoon’s. There’s something unspoken between them, hanging in the air between their mouths, something Jiho will probably say one day- just not today.

 

Jiho is awoken by someone flopping onto him, and he groans and shoves them off into the floor in return. Indignant shouts come from the floor and he knows that it’s Sanggyun, but he’s tired and doesn’t really care, at least until Sanggyun grabs his face and smooshes his cheeks.

“Wake up, you lazy piece of crap!” Sanggyun yells, using his index fingers to open Jiho’s eyes, and Jiho grumbles and shoves Sanggyun’s hands away. Sanggyun sits on him in turn, wiggling his butt, and any other time Jiho would complain about ass germs. “You barely have free time anymore, so you have to play with me today, dammit.”

Jiho opens an eye, a smile growing on his face. “You bought the new Far Cry, didn’t you?”

Sanggyun beams. “Damn right I did! The multiplayer mode is cool, I want to play with you. Hyosang is awful at it.”

Jiho sighs, pushing at Sanggyun’s back to try and get him off. “Fine, I’ll be down in a few minutes.”

Sanggyun hops off of Jiho and exits the room, yelling things to himself about ‘success!’. Jiho smiles and climbs out of bed, stretching with a yell before going to get dressed.

A few minutes later, Sanggyun is attempting to beat the shit out of Jiho with his controller and almost succeeding, getting in a few good hits before Jiho yanks it away from him, his thumb slipping over a button that makes Sanggyun’s character fire an arrow into a nearby tree.

There’s a moment of silence while Sanggyun stares at the arrow on-screen before he starts hitting Jiho again, this time with the sides of his fists, yelling that it was his last arrow and that he needed that to go kill a bear.

Their round of multiplayer ends with them running around in-game for a good two hours trying to kill each other in various and increasingly strange ways, such as Jiho setting a pack of honey badgers loose on Sanggyun’s camp and Sanggyun shooting a bee hive that Jiho is standing by with a sniper rifle. They reconcile with some snacks and Sanggyun leans over to look at Jiho’s phone while he’s flipping through the texts he’s gotten recently.

Sanggyun points at a heart beside a particular contact, making somewhat of a surprised noise. “Who is that? Do you have a boyfriend?”

Jiho shakes his head, opening that particular contact and showing Sanggyun. “I’ve been too scared to text him, I’ve had his number for a week.”

“Oooo, tell me about him!” Sanggyun snuggles up to Jiho, looking up at him with expectant eyes, so Jiho sighs.

“His name is Hojoon, he’s- he’s gorgeous, he has fluffy hair, it’s cute… he likes to hold my hands.” Jiho bites his lip, waging if he should go further, but Sanggyun doesn’t seem entirely satisfied, so. “I- he’s an, an escort, so I guess it’s weird, huh…”

“Holy shit!” Sanggyun exclaims, hitting Jiho in the face with a puff of Dorito breath. “Dude, I knew you’d gotten laid but I didn’t think you’d gotten attached, bravo man. Bravo.”

Jiho shoves at Sanggyun’s shoulder, and when Sanggyun cheerfully suggests that maybe it might be something more than attachment, he can’t help but smile.

 

Jiho can’t get the picture out of his head, he can’t sleep, he can’t stop thinking about it- about Hyosang, about what they did to him. He stays in bed for as long as he can until it’s his turn to go change Hyosang’s dressings, and the gaunt look to Hyosang’s face, the dark circles underneath his eyes and the bruises that crawl up his face, almost make Jiho want to cry.

And he does cry when he finally turns on his phone and sees that the only one that bothered to text him was Hojoon, asking ‘where are you’ and ‘are you okay ;;;’. When he texts a ‘hi’ and a tired emoticon, Hojoon responds almost immediately with a big block of ‘!!!!!!!!’, then an, ‘i want to see you, can you meet me somewhere?’

Jiho says yes, of course, and the first thing Hojoon tells him when he slides into the booth is, “God, you look like shit.”

Jiho laughs, and it’s close to genuine. “Thanks. How have you been?”

“Worried? You got to where you texted me every day and then you just stopped.” Hojoon whines, pouting and reaching for Jiho’s hands.

Jiho grabs Hojoon’s hands and closes his around them softly, bringing them to his face and kissing Hojoon’s fingers. “I’m sorry, a lot of things have happened, everything’s- it’s awful.”

Hojoon stands up, not pulling his hands from Jiho’s grip, and comes to sit beside Jiho, cuddling close to him and kissing his cheek. “Tell me all about it.”

So Jiho does, recounting details and eventually crumpling, tears welling up in his eyes and he turns to make an absolutely pitiful sound into Hojoon’s shoulder. Hojoon wraps his arms around Jiho and squeezes tight, turning his head to kiss at Jiho’s cheeks and neck, reaching up to pet Jiho’s hair.

“I’m sorry,” Hojoon whispers, pushing Jiho back a bit so he can wipe the tears off his face. “It sounds horrible, I’m sorry.”

“I missed you,” Jiho whispers, voice cracking, and Hojoon kisses him gently. Jiho sobs, resting his hands on Hojoon’s shoulders. “I-I’m so scared, Hojoon, it c-could have been any one of us- it could have been m-me…”

“But it wasn’t, it won’t be, and you’re safe.” Hojoon says firmly, brushing Jiho’s fringe away from his face so he can kiss his forehead.

“I love you,” Jiho whispers, taking Hojoon’s hands into his own. “I love you, I love you, I don’t want to be alone, I can’t  _sleep_ , I haven’t slept in days…”

Hojoon pulls Jiho into his arms, holding him close and rocking gently, back and forth, until Jiho finally stops sobbing and leaves Hojoon’s hoodie a tearful mess. Hojoon takes Jiho’s hands and gently kisses them, kisses the cuts on his fingers and a bruise on his wrist. “I love you too, Jiho, and you need to sleep.”

Jiho inhales, breath catching. “I-I can’t, I really can’t…”

“I can go home with you, if you just need someone to be with you,” Hojoon offers gently, cupping Jiho’s face in his hands. Jiho nods, trying and failing to hold back more tears, and Hojoon laughs, a little sad. “You’ve gotta give me directions, though, come on.”

 

Jiho wakes up in Hojoon’s arms, face pressed into his chest and legs tangled together with his. He tilts his head to look up and in turn, Hojoon looks down, smiling and raising a hand to push Jiho’s messy hair away from his face.

“I thought you’d gone into a coma or something, you’ve been asleep for forever.” Hojoon scoots a bit so he can kiss Jiho’s forehead. “Don’t stay up that long again, Sanggyun told me that you’d been up for almost three days, I think you can die from that.”

“You talked to them?” Jiho asks, voice thick with sleep, and Hojoon nods.

“Of course, I wasn’t going to lay here while I was in danger of pissing myself. So I went and found the bathroom and talked to a couple people on the way, Sanggyun was playing some video game so I was just like, ‘hey, where’s the damn bathroom,’ and he was like, ‘christ you’re the hooker aren’t you’.”

Jiho snorts, snuggling his face into Hojoon’s neck. “Did he like you?”

“Yeah, he told me I was cute and that you were totally gay for me, and I told him I already knew that.” Hojoon laughs, pulling Jiho a bit closer. “He seems like an embarrassing boy.”

“God, he is,” Jiho groans into Hojoon’s neck, causing Hojoon to laugh. “He’s a good friend, though.” Jiho shifts a bit, too hot to keep himself that close to Hojoon. “Shouldn’t you be leaving soon or something?”

“Man, fuck them, I have priorities.”

 

A few months later, Sangdo’s sect has a new member, and all Sanggyun can keep asking is, “You paid how much?”

But then one day, Sanggyun flops on the couch beside Jiho while Jiho is trying to complete a game he never finished and asks, “So how do you feel about that?”

“About what?” Jiho asks, thumbs slipping from button to button as he tries to get a kill combo.

“About Hojoon and Hyosang.”

Jiho’s eyebrows furrow. “What about them?”

“Well, like… they keep kissing, and hugging, and they cuddle a lot.” Sanggyun shifts, watching as Jiho gets his combo up to forty.

“The way I look at it, Sanggyun, Hyosang needs it more than I do. It doesn’t bother me, Hojoon loves me, it’s just…” Jiho pauses as his character is killed, laying the controller down on the table when the ‘game over’ screen is displayed, “Hyosang needs all the help he can get. It’s amazing that he got attached to anyone other than Sangdo, so it doesn’t- it doesn’t bother me.”

Sanggyun nods, then moves onto more pressing matters, like, “I bet I can beat your combo.”

“Sure you can.”

 

Jiho can’t lie- he absolutely adores Byungjoo. He jumps at everything, cries frequently, and screams the first time he sees blood in the house (from a cut on Sanggyun’s finger, dripping onto the kitchen counter), and Jiho wants nothing more than to protect him.

He knows how Byungjoo hates being touched, and he’d gotten used to it with Hyosang’s slow recovery, so he asks. “Can I hold your hand?”

Byungjoo pauses for a second, then nods, a smile spreading across his face as he holds out his hand. Jiho grabs it, squeezing it tight, and after a few moments of sitting on the couch like that, Byungjoo leans against Jiho and lays his head on his shoulder.

There’s also Hojoon, occasionally asking Byungjoo if he can hold his hand and pet his hair and hug him, and Byungjoo always says yes, of course, mostly because Jiho gets the feeling that he’s honestly desperate for attention.

Jiho also gets the feeling that he and Hojoon are subtly trying to one-up each other, seeing who can love on Byungjoo more, make him feel safest and most cherished. But at the end of the day, it’s really Hojoon who Jiho loves the most, and he hopes it’s the same for Hojoon, too.

And on the flipside, Jiho thinks that Byungjoo loves both of them equally, wants to hang out with them and be some sort of add-on to their relationship, and prior to this Jiho probably would have hated it. But Byungjoo is so gentle, careful, asking if it’s okay and if he can do this or that and Jiho kind of wants him to be part of it, even if not completely romantic.

Above all he just wants Byungjoo to stop crying every night, he wants to stop waking up at three AM with Byungjoo curled in on himself, sobbing into his hands. Jiho knows he can’t replace whatever or whoever Byungjoo lost, maybe he and Hojoon combined can’t even replace that, but he wants to try.


End file.
